Vulnerability: Are Your Defenses Pushing Others Away?




Vulnerability, Closeness, and Intimacy

The Hurt

Broken hearts can cause us to hide inside of ourselves. With each heartbreak, we close the door to our hearts a tiny bit more. Some of us lock our hearts in a vault and vow to never open it again.

As time erases the combination to these vaults, they eventually become our prisons. We can not get out and others can not get in. Our fear of being hurt can cause us to surround ourselves with walls so high that very few ever try to climb past them.

To stay "protected", we unknowingly reach into every action and every sentence thrown our way and we pull out the letters we need to spell "threat." Somehow in the words, "I love you," we find THREAT.  Offers from strangers that sound anything like, "I want to help you," quickly becomes THREAT.  Our creative imaginations inform us that every smile flashed our way is simply a veil for the evil to come.

Our fear of vulnerability causes us to silently suffer. In our tight bubbles of protection, we watch the world pass us by. We secretly hope to be approached despite our defenses and then run when the slightest glance comes our way.

We know that fear prevents us from realizing our true potential.  The fear of rejection however, is stronger than our fear of anything else. We'd rather cut off our hands than let ourselves enjoy the pleasure of having someone hold them. This gripping fear makes torturing ourselves much more easier to bear than our thoughts of some one rejecting us.

The Cause 

In Intimacy, Closeness, and Vulnerability," Chief Yuya links our fear of intimacy to emotional trauma that likely occurred at a young age. The disappointment we feel due to the unexpected inconsistencies of some one close to us becomes too much to bear. He reminds us of how we crafted certain safeguards to ensure that our young hearts would survive to see another day.  Then, he encourages us to remove this obstacle from our path.

The Spiritual Blockage

Our lack of vulnerability or our "inability to be receptive, soft...and allow ourselves to be loved," as Chief Yuya puts it, "prevents us from seeing ourselves as beautiful or worthy of movement and self-improvement." Seeking spiritual connections places us in a position of receptivity. Closing our hearts for any reason causes us to be blocked to the energies that were created to heal us.

To listen to the full broadcast and for tips on overcoming emotional trauma and subtle ways to communicate your love for another, click below:

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  1. Great post! Orisha Ogun is a great energy to work with to remove such blockages. There is bondage in fear. There is freedom in love.

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